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I can't figure out what the hell I'm doing in this place. I ask so many questions but wind up back where I've started, my arrival here not any one person's fault like my awakening on the Avalon but rather something magical, mysterious.

I could spend my whole life here trying to figure out why I'm here, but I know there has to be more than that. At least, that's the conclusion I reached when I was on the ship and I don't see why it should be any different now.

So I start swimming again, and then running. I run until my chest hurts and I swim until my arms go weak. I wake up early for sunrises because it's been so long since I've seen them from an Earth-like sky. I drink coffee. I try to write.

But I don't know what to write about. When I thought I'd never meet another person again, I started to write about myself. My life and my struggle. My fury. Here, it's not so easy. There are so many other things, so many other people and they've all led much more meaningful lives. I want to write about them but I don't know where or how to start.

Nobody knows who Aurora Lane is here. Nobody's heard of my father. It's terrifying and exhilarating all at once. I get to start again – and wasn't that the idea of going to Homestead II, anyway? 

There are a few publishers in town that I put in calls with and hear nothing from. That's nothing new. Writing is rejection, over and over again. If I gave up every time someone didn't want to read my writing or put it out there for the masses, well. 

I wouldn't have been writing for the New Yorker.

I decide on a new approach. Face to face. It's still overwhelming conversing with so many people and being surrounded by the chaos of crowds, but it's getting easier. I make my way to a local newspaper with my resume in hand though it hasn't gotten me very far, speaking briefly with a receptionist who says she can't guarantee a meeting but she'll see what she can do.

I find a seat and wait. That's one thing I've gotten good at.

Date: 2017-04-27 07:03 am (UTC)
itsdarkcorners: (090)
From: [personal profile] itsdarkcorners
Mostly, Karen goes in and out. She's fairly used to her life being hectic — God knows it was back in New York — but here in Darrow, that's taken on a different meaning. She writes when she can, in part because it helps her maintain a cover and in part because she loves it. She takes on freelancing jobs because she can't really afford to work a nine to five right now, the time commitment more than she could handle. And, somewhere in there, she's got what she can only describe as a burgeoning career as a goddamn spy, and a relationship that's still fairly new, so, well, it's a lot. Every once in a while, she comes into the office, gets some work done here when she's already got a piece she's assigned, but it's a rarity, and she always feels like she's in a hurry.

That isn't so much the case, though, that a familiar face sitting in the lobby doesn't catch her attention on her way in. She stops, remembering being in the same position not all that long ago, and smiles. "Hi," she says. "Are you waiting for someone?"

Date: 2017-05-08 06:54 am (UTC)
itsdarkcorners: (015)
From: [personal profile] itsdarkcorners
"Yeah?" Karen asks, brightening a little at that. "I'm Karen, I... work here sometimes. Freelance." It's her day job, her cover job, but she enjoys it no less for that, even if the life of being something like a spy is a bit more draining than she'd anticipated. It's worth it, every single second she spends with John and Harold, whether researching on her computer or out in the field. "They're great people here, if it helps. I didn't have a lot of experience before I got here, but they don't seem to be too bothered by that."

Date: 2017-05-16 05:28 pm (UTC)
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From: [personal profile] itsdarkcorners
"Not to most of the people here, no," Karen says, pulling a face as she shakes her head. Her own minimal credentials hadn't meant anything, either, and it isn't like she'd known to get a letter of recommendation from Ellison before she spontaneously found herself in another universe. She likes to think, though, that he would have given her one, that he'd be pleased with — maybe even proud of — what she's doing now, both publicly and less so. "Anyone else not from here, though — I'm from New York, and so's my friend Cindy, who writes here, so that's, uh, pretty recognizable."

It's impressive, really, but that seems like a weird thing to say to someone she's only just met. Gushing over a stranger when she isn't even familiar with her work would only be awkward.

Date: 2017-05-20 08:47 am (UTC)
itsdarkcorners: (018)
From: [personal profile] itsdarkcorners
"Hell's Kitchen," Karen answers, fond in spite of all the reasons why she shouldn't be. It isn't as if she'd had any kind of an easy time living there, or like it was an exceptionally nice part of the city, but at least for a little while, it was home. That's a feeling she knows she'd be foolish to undervalue, even having settled in well in Darrow, even knowing that, if she had a choice now, this one is the life she'd pick. "I was born in Vermont, really, but I'd been living there for a few years before I got here."

Date: 2017-05-21 06:03 am (UTC)
itsdarkcorners: (088)
From: [personal profile] itsdarkcorners
"I do, yeah," Karen says, the admittance coming easily with someone who's from there, too. She may not miss much of the actual life she left behind there, the pieces of it all scattered to the wind, but the city itself quickly became and always will be important to her. "I... I've been lucky here, I guess you could say, I don't mind it the way some people do, but I think I'll always miss New York a little."

Date: 2017-05-28 07:41 am (UTC)
itsdarkcorners: (112)
From: [personal profile] itsdarkcorners
"No, there's really not," Karen agrees, shaking her head, expression fond, just a little wistful. She hasn't seen much of the world at all, and comparatively speaking, she didn't really live there all that long, but still, she knows that with certainty, and not just from what she's heard or seen in movies and on TV. For all of the city's dark sides, there's so much beauty there, too, so much to discover, that it's downright intoxicating. Darrow has its charms — and its very, very weird aspects — but for all that she may like it here, there's still no comparison. "Hard to imagine there being, anyway."

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Aurora Lane

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